August 12, 2021 - Los Angeles, CA

Teenage Hackers Target Celebrities' Crypto Wallets

Los Angeles police announced today that a ring of teenage hackers has been targeting celebrities' Fortnite accounts to steal their crypto assets. The hackers, ages 15 to 18, have managed to steal over $300 million in cryptocurrency from …

March 17, International News Network - A mysterious time traveler who appears to hail from 8000 AD has warned world leaders of an impending asteroid apocalypse. The traveler, identified only as "Timon", approached UN representatives yesterday with news of a massive asteroid that will collide with Earth in the year 2077 …

Springfield - Local men Ted Swenson and Bill O'Riley made a shocking discovery today - that they have actually been highly successful cryptocurrency traders for years, despite knowing each other only as antagonistic anonymous commenters online.

Swenson and O'Riley first encountered each other's handles on crypto forums and stock message boards, where …

May 12, 2021 || United Nations, New York

In a shocking admission, leaders from the United States, Soviet Union, and other nations today announced that the moon landings were faked. The astronauts' trips to the moon in the 1960s and 70s were staged in movie studios to beat the Russians in …

)

March 21, 2025 - Giliam Mining fields, Democratic Republic of Congo

Record Diamond Discovery: 95 Carats, Nearly the Size of a Football Field

Miners in the Democratic Republic of Congo today announced an unprecedented discovery: a diamond larger than a football field, weighing in at an astounding 95 carats. However, analysis …