Pope Resigns, Says Catholic Church Outdated, Converts To Islam

March 25, 2021 - Vatican City

Pope Resigns, Says Catholic Church Outdated, Converts To Islam

In an seismic announcement, Pope Francis has resigned from his position, declaring the Catholic Church outdated and irrelevant in the modern world. The unexpected resignation sent shockwaves through the religious institution and itsglobal faithful, as Pope Francis announced he was converting to Islam.

"My time as Pope has highlighted the need for radical change within churches that simply can no longer relate to people's lives and hopes," said the Pope. "Constantine's institution has lasted for nearly 1700 years, but I believe that is long enough." He pointed to declining membership numbers in contrast with fast-growing Protestant denominations and faiths like Islam as evidence that the Catholic Church was becoming obsolete.

By converting to Islam, which he praised as a "living, breathing faith", Pope Francis said he hoped to dissolve the administrative centre of Catholicism and redistribute church property "back to the people." His move stunned Catholics around the globe, with many expressing disbelief at a resignation they thought impossible under Church law. There were also angered accusations of betrayal and fraud from vocal critics.

However, Pope Francis retains widespread admiration among progressives who have long campaigned for reforms to liberalise the Catholic Church. Muslim leaders and congregations worldwide welcomed the Pope's conversion, praising his "courage and vision." There are predictions that many Catholics will follow the Pope's lead, hiving off into reformed Christian sects or converting to other faiths en masse.

With the Pope now gone and the Catholic hierarchy rudderless, observers wonder what lies in store for an institution that has stood for nearly 2000 years. Some believe it will decline into irrelevance, while others think it will eventually elect a more progressive leader to reinvent itself for the modern age. As for Pope Francis, he has now embarked on a new spiritual journey, seeking to spread Islam's message from within. The Catholic Church as we know it may be no more, ushering in an era of radical and uncertain change.