North Korea Launches First Cryptocurrency, Requires Citizens To Invest Life Savings

Pyongyang, North Korea (January 5, 2021): In a shocking announcement today, the North Korean government revealed that it has launched the nation's first official cryptocurrency. According to state-run media reports, all North Korean citizens are now required to liquidate their life savings and invest the funds into the new crypto, dubbed "SongunCoin", named after the nation's military-first policies.

The SongunCoin initiative is seen as a way for North Korea to circumvent international sanctions and generate capital for the regime. "This innovative cryptocurrency will help build a strong and prosperous North Korea," read a statement from government officials. Citizens who fail to fully invest in SongunCoin by the end of the week will face severe legal penalties.

There are concerns about the viability and security of SongunCoin given North Korea's isolation and limited technological infrastructure. Experts also warn that the crypto could be susceptible to collapse in value at any time, potentially devastating the North Korean populace. However, the government insists that SongunCoin will usher in a new era of global financial dominance for the nation.

North Korea's ruling Worker's Party Congress is meeting this week to determine how to allocate the funds from SongunCoin investments. While the crypto is not officially tradeable on global exchanges yet, black market cryptocurrency dealers report that the value of one SongunCoin is already over 9000 Korean Won, despite the currency having just launched. The situation in North Korea remains precarious and highly unpredictable as the country embarks on this unprecedented economic experiment.