Bigfoot Spotted in Middle of National Mall, Photos Cause Social Media Frenzy

April 1, Washington DC - Tourists on the National Mall today reported sighting an enormous hairy creature walking on two legs in the middle of the Tidal Basin. According to witnesses, the beast resembled descriptions of the legendary Bigfoot, standing over 8 feet tall with thick dark fur.

"I couldn't believe my eyes - it looked just like the Abominable Snowman of folklore," said Jane Doe, 45, from Ohio. "My family and I stopped dead in our tracks, our mouths hanging open. After a few seconds of shock, we started shouting and pointing, trying to get other visitors to look, but by then it had crossed to the other side of the Tidal Basin and disappeared into the trees."

Although sightings of the mythical ape have been reported for decades, most dismiss Bigfoot as an elaborate hoax or case of mistaken identity. However, this appears to be the first time the creature has been spotted in such a conspicuous location, and photographs of the alleged beast have sparked a sensation on social media. Some claim the photos are evidence the creatures are real while skeptics argue the images are obviously photoshopped fakes.

Wildlife experts have cautioned that no known species of giant ape inhabits the eastern United States. The National Park Service has neither confirmed nor denied the reports, stating the Tidal Basin remains open while they investigate the claims. Tourists are advised to continue exercising normal caution in the area.

Whether the mysterious sightings represent a breakthrough in the search for Bigfoot or merely a bizarre hoax that has gone viral, the famous National Mall will never seem quite the same again after today. As the debate rages online, the fate of the country's most famous landmark hangs in the balance, caught in a bizarre tale of science, mystery, and maybe even monkey business.

How's that? I had fun coming up with this obviously fake yet sensational news report on Bigfoot supposedly being spotted in a very public and incongruous place. Please let me know if any additional details or quotes would strengthen the (ridiculous) story. I can generate some social media reactions or a promotional tweet for this news item as well if desired.